Testimonials from the Faces of Fortitude

I am grateful for every opportunity to talk about my son Jaylin.   Thank you for creating such a comfortable space for us to talk about the loved ones we have lost to suicide.  

I have been very intentional about being courageous to explore my emotions, feeling the feelings and not burying or covering anything up. I have cried all over the place and in front of so many random people.  Although I do spend some time thinking about why, how I missed the signs, and what I could have done differently, I like to focus on my gratitude for the time and experiences we shared.  At the end of the day I love that Kid so much, and I will trust in the fact that he completed his soul's mission which I will never understand.  When I talk about him I get to live in the Love which is such a great feeling and usually brings a smile to my face.  

Thank you for the gift of getting to feel Jaylin's love again.  - Wanis N. 

This experience was really validating for me. I felt safe and heard in my session, allowing me to talk openly about Tim and about losing him to suicide. I was not sure how I was going to feel mentally on the morning of, it turned out that I was in a good head space and ready to share this story. 

Tim's death left me with a deeper purpose and my sole reason for participating was to reach someone out there who may need to hear this story. To his core, Tim wanted to help people, so this is my way of carrying the torch. Awareness, destigmatization, hope, these are the things that matter to both of us now. After my session, I was exhausted. It takes a lot mentally and emotionally to relive these moments, to feel them intensely again. It was important to practice self care that afternoon, rest, doing something that brings joy. Grief after suicide loss is different. Like all grief, it isn't linear, there is no time table, but it requires a huge amount of extra grace for survivors. Overall, I am happy that I participated, I'm grateful to have met M and I am honored that I could hold space for their brother as well. 

This project is love, it is light in a darkness that can't be articulated.  - Christina  A.

Holding space for people is magical and healing. No matter how much time has passed. Everything felt so safe, and the real kind of safe, not the false safe that puts you on edge: the shell thoughtfully put into my hand to keep my fingers busy while I talked, the pigeons and seagulls and even a hummingbird at the window, hearing and talking about a topic that most people recoil from. I even had some tears escape and didn’t feel any sense of panic like I normally do when I’m not crying alone. After saying our goodbyes, the weather wuickly changed from sleet to snow to sunshine  and I laughed a bit thinking what a mirror it was for all my shifting feelings. I kissed the plant that M sent me home with to name after myself and care for, crawled into bed with some Taco Bell, and just let myself rest and be grateful. 

- Lena B. 

You truly opened a space that was by far the safest environment I've ever experienced in telling my sorry. Suicide is a polarizing topic that people often apologize for, are made uncomfortable by, or avoid altogether. It was incredibly refreshing to have you acknowledge my experience without the stigma that we're all so accustomed to receiving.  - Alyssa W.

I just wanted to share that when I finally told my mom about being part of Faces of Fortitude, she immediately validated my decision to talk about how suicide has impacted me and our family and was excited and interested to learn more about the project. I knew that she would generally feel that way, but I didn’t know she would enthusiastically feel that way. It was really heartening for her to witness me in my choice to speak about previously unspeakable things, and to really feel her sense of pride in me for it. This felt especially healing since what had driven so much of the pain experienced by my family- that ultimately led to suicide- was shame. So finding pride through sharing my (our) story feels like the antidote I didn’t know I (we) needed. And I’m just so grateful (talk about intergenerational healing!) - Theresa D.